Tall Femme: You’re On a Smoke Date, Dandelion! | Autostraddle
Contacting all Homoganjas! Let’s explore anything and everything cannabis related, from legalization to put society to learning to make your bong utilizing a box of Diva cups and a broken lamp.
Whether you’re a novice would youn’t understand a blunt from a joint, or you’re planning your homosexual fantasy wedding to Mary Jane, this column is for you. Puff, Puff, Pass.
Header by
Rory Midhani
It’s Friday night. Or Monday night. Perhaps its Tuesday mid-day. I’m not sure everything. But that woman you have been swooning over is on the woman means over here. You are aware, the one that makes you notice strains of “Closer” in your head when you look at their? She’s coming more than for a hangout. And she actually is providing an eighth of OG Kush. Time for you put-on a clear top and wash that bong, since you’re on a smoke day, Dandelion!
Smoking times can have several advantages. Clearly, you are relaxed sufficient in both’s company to partake in semi-illegal tasks with each other (unless you live in a progressive condition and are a card-carrying health cannabis user). Also, she does not care about investing long expanses of time along with you. There’s really no these thing as a “quick weed break.” Toking upwards is actually, by description, a time-intensive process. There is the shameful small talk, 1st spark up, the passing around of items before they truly are cashed around. Then you’ve the large it self, which will often ground you for around an hour, dependent on your own strain/tolerance. Next definitely, absolutely the procurement of munchies, additionally the eating of mentioned munchies. Next probably another joint/blunt/bowl. We are speaking a good 4 or 5 periods of
Futurama
right here, so get comfortable. This may just take awhile. But another person desires to invest that much time along with you! tall five!
Songs
Initially, switch off the Bob Marley. This isn’t Freshman year. We know which shot the sheriff and deputy as well. Simply perform anything mellow inside the history or spin
Carmen’s combine for puffing
.
Talk About
+ Cigarette. What you are puffing. In which you got it. The method that you tend to be smoking it. Exactly what your choices tend to be.
+ SUCH A THING pop society associated. Please expound in your concepts of Leisha Hailey’s Yoplait industrial, the tragic cancellation of Bomb Girls, or just who the bang A is. Since it is gotta be Aria, correct? What i’m saying is, come-on.
+ Conspiracy concepts! Large men and women are attracted to conspiracy theories like moths to a dubious flame. Is actually neighborhood 51 an alien think-tank? Are Illuminati running American Clothing? Tend to be Tegan and Sara Quin THE SAME PERSON?
Do Not Mention
+ Complicated geopolitical dilemmas. Is it possible to end up being articulate about the worldwide financial crisis when you are stumbling ovaries? Unless you’re an Aaron Sorkin character, the solution isn’t any. It simply got you twenty mins to determine exactly how much to tip the pizza shipment man. Slow down the roll.
+ upsetting personal stories. It is amazing that you want to open up up to this individual. However now isn’t the best time. Serious stories are for sober minutes, and you desire their own complete awareness of make certain you’re in a secure area. Also, no one would like to harsh their buzz.
Advised Watching
Too Pretty! Puppies
is a real demonstrate that prevails because The united states. It’s simply pups playing around. It is basically what takes on in my at once a consistent cycle once I region out. It is possibly the biggest thing with which has ever been around ever before.
Cartoons:
Simpsons
,
Futurama
,
Family Man
,
Bob’s Burgers
,
Archer
(Pam!).
Youtube video clips of kitties. EASY ENOUGH.
Honorable Mentions
Superior Beyonce fan movie ever.
I enjoy this video clip much I would like to get married it. I want it playing in delivery area whenever I birth my personal young children. I would like it playing on a hard and fast loop back at my tombstone like an eternal flame. This video completes myself.
The Only Real Party Trick You Will Want
Ah, the amount of time recognized heritage of shotgunning aka the blow back. It’s ridiculous, it is gorgeous and it will get your mouth in extremely close proximity to the woman mouth. Shotgunning is a gateway drug to creating around. The fundamental shotgun is how Person A inhales and breathes the smoking into Person B’s throat. Fairly simple.
Now let’s talk about the advanced cigarette smoker: individual {A|thea requires the combined (WARNING: this only works together a joint!) and leaves the lit end in their own mouth. Person B next sucks on the other conclusion while Individual A blows. It’s the effect of creating Person A seem like a fearless, fire-swallowing badass. Simply don’t lick the burning up end, kids. Many of us learned that the tough way.
And Lastly
Always remain secure and safe. Smoke inside your limits. Never stress the time or feel pressured to smoke a lot more than you wish to. Cannabis consent is sexy. And make sure everybody has a safe experience house and a soft destination to crash. Because stoned cuddles? The most effective style of cuddles.
Before going!
It costs cash to make indie queer mass media, and honestly, we want more members to survive 2023
As thank you for LITERALLY maintaining you live, A+ people obtain access to bonus content material, extra Saturday puzzles, and much more!
Do you want to join?
Cancel when.
Join A+!